“These will be the best years of your life.. ENJOY THEM..” “Time will fly” “Focus your Freshman year”.. I have heard people say this countless times within the past four years, time did fly, they didn’t seem to be the best years, and I didn’t focus my freshman year. Right now, as a Senior, I can’t wait to graduate because I will never have to go back or even think about my high school years again. Sadly, that isn’t the case. High School never ends. College is next, then a career, and starting a family. All of those things will still be like high school. You can’t escape it.
What’s your biggest fear?
Before you start a relationship with someone there is always the “talking” stage. During that talking stage I was asked “What is your biggest fear?” and I responded “not being happy.” Months later after being together this was brought up again, and he said “I will forever protect you from your biggest fear.” Since then my heart has felt so protected. Now I don’t want to trust anyone, I am so hurt.
Save your heart!
The mixed signals turned into tricks. I was being dragged along by a string and he knew it. He knew what he was doing but he didn’t care about my feelings. He didn’t care enough to have a conversation with me, or to even give me a heads up. He stood me up, and left it at that. The guy I used to love and thought was my forever turned into nothing within seconds. I lost all respect for him because he doesn’t respect me, he couldn’t even give me closure he left me hanging as usual. I deserve someone who is going to respect me and love me unconditionally. Not ignore my calls and put down everything I say. I will find someone one day but for now I’m in no rush. Im young and need to find myself and start my life. Im going to save my heart for someone who leaves me breathless. But for now I need friends, and to make myself look amazing to make him feel like shit. This time he didn’t make me sad he just opened my eyes to the person he really is. The person everyone told me he was. I wish it was different but I deserve to be happy.
Mixed signals
I can help but feel like I’m in a whirlpool. Spinning around and around. This morning I woke up to 31 texts which I thought meant you missed me, but now we are just friends? All these thoughts are killing me. My stomach is in so many knots I feel like I need to throw up. Talking to you makes me feel better but worse. Better because you’re in my life but worse because I’m not hearing what I want. I want to hear that you miss me and can’t live without me and that you will do your best to make everything up to me.. But all I’m getting it “at the end of the day we are friends” and that just sucks another 10 steps back we go… So much for living for myself huh?
Love yourself so no one has to..
I am sitting here dwelling over the past trying to figure out everything I’ve ever done wrong and how i can fix it. But at this point their is nothing I can do because I keep making myself feel worse and worse. The past few months I have been living my life for someone else, but I don’t regret one second of it because they are my other half and I would do it all over if I got the chance. But now I need to live for myself. I need to focus on myself for a while. But if you just so happen to want to be in my life again I wouldn’t stop you. I need to make friends who are a positive impact on me and do things that make me happy. I need to love myself.
Oliver..
This abomination is the best pet I have ever had. He has turned me into a cat lady, or one of those people that treat their animals like babies. Oliver is my baby, he is my muse. If you were to ask me what I would bring with me on a deserted island it would be that cat. He is the full package, he can hunt lizards, be a fluffy pillow, and something to talk to. I definitely wouldn’t be able to live without him. Wow I’m crazy!!
1 missed call from..
I am one of those people who will keep calling until you pick up, but I’ve been trying my best to give people space.. How thoughtful of me. The last person I called was being every short with me and distant, I mean we aren’t on the best terms but from the last time we talked we were pretty good. It made me feel like we took 100 steps away from being almost normal. I don’t want to give up but I know calling will probably make it worse? If you’re reading this.. just know I’m confused. I wish I could call you if you don’t want to talk then just say it.. But lets be real I will probably break and end up calling in a few hours.. Sorry
My first love
No words could describe my first love. It was like a roller coaster, and I loved every second of it. Even the bad because it made me appreciate the good more. I never excepted to become so close to a person like I did with him, he knows me better than he knows himself at this point. And it scares me because I feel like I rely on him to be in my life too much. It scared me to see a person who has seen so much of me, who I talked to every second of the day, who I saw pretty much everyday start to fade from my life. My heart aches for the love and protection that he showed me. I wish I could go back to the day I first saw him and relive the past year because he made me see the whole world differently. He helped me in everyday from math homework, to climbing through my window when I was locked out of my house. My first love was an adventure. We were so comfortable with each other. My whole body aches for him, I miss him so much. I don’t even care if we aren’t together I just need him in my life. He is my one true love, my best friend, my super hero. I keep hoping he will call me, or come bursting through my door like he used to and just give me the biggest hug. I’ll keep waiting for him. No matter what anyone says or thinks about us. I will never turn him down. He makes me happy and without him I feel empty and without a soul. But for now I will keep him a daydream away.
I miss you…
Where do I begin?
When it comes to my thoughts I’m not the best at putting them into words. In my head everything I think sounds so clever and poetic but as soon as I put my words on paper it becomes a huge mess.
Beginner Blogger
Blogging has always caught my eye. I have no clue how to work this website or what kind of blog this is going to be, so I’m excited to figure this out. For now its just going to be my thoughts because writing them down in a journal makes me feel outdated. I guess thats enough for my first post. 🙂
mirandykinz 